spill the tea: opinions you’d never say out loud (but secretly believe)

COMMUNITY

WRITTEN BY TONIC

MAY 20, 2025

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Person holding a large Monstera leaf in front of their face, wearing off-the-shoulder top and earrings.

Introducing: Spill the Tea

Welcome to Spill the Tea, Tonic’s new anonymous confessions corner where we ask one juicy question, and you tell us what’s really going on inside that brilliant, complex, and occasionally unhinged mind of yours.

It’s fast. It’s fun. It’s 100% anonymous.
Think of it as your safe space to say the thing you’d usually only blurt out in a voice note to your best friend…and then instantly delete. This week’s question?

What’s a controversial opinion you secretly hold… but wouldn’t dare say out loud?

Let’s just say… you did not disappoint.

Scandal Broth, Anyone? The Real History of Tea and Talking

Let’s talk about tea…the feminine history of it, that is.

Since the 1600s, there have been derogatory references tying women, tea, and talking together. In fact, an old slang term coined by Francis Grose (cheers mate) dubbed these gatherings “scandal broth” - AKA women sitting together over a pot of tea and sharing too much for polite society’s liking.

Unsurprisingly, the association between tea and gossip has often been used to dismiss the powerful conversations that happen when women gather. But here’s the thing; the world has every reason to be nervous when women talk.

From the suffragettes to the Women’s Institute, the Girl Guides to the Seneca Falls Convention, history shows us what happens when women are given space to speak freely: they create change.

So yes, we’re reclaiming the kettle. And yes, we’re proudly pouring the scandal broth.

What Even Is a Controversial Opinion?

Not all controversial opinions are political or explosive. Sometimes they’re just the things you believe deep down… but know they’d cause chaos in the group chat.

They might make people raise an eyebrow, argue in the comments, or quietly agree and never say a word. That’s the beauty of Spill the Tea, here, you can share it without the drama.

You Said It, Not Us: The Anonymous Confessions

Here’s what our community had to say when we asked for their spiciest secret takes.
We’ve kept it anonymous, but trust us; these could’ve come from any of us.

  • marriage isn’t the goal for me — I just want a mortgage partner and emotional stability.

  • secure, loving relationships should allow for natural attraction towards others. having open, healthy conversations around our true feelings shouldn’t exclude this topic. pretending it doesn’t exist or making it taboo is unrealistic & unhealthy.

  • I love my kids, but sometimes I wish I could go back to only being responsible for myself.

  • not every holiday needs a matching family outfit. it’s exhausting.

  • your partner isn’t your ‘everything’ - that’s how people lose themselves.

  • I think some people genuinely like being ‘too busy’ — it gives them a personality.”

  • not everyone needs to heal everything. some things can just… exist.

  • tapas is overrated.

  • I'd rather have a clean house than a social life.

  • not everyone needs to have kids & some people really shouldn’t.

  • meditation stresses me out more than it helps.

  • I’ll never do a cold plunge. I don’t care how ‘life changing’ it is.

Join Us Next Time We Spill the Tea

That was too good. If your jaw is still on the floor (or your inner monologue is going, “wait… same”), don’t worry, we’ll be spilling the tea again very soon.

Keep an eye for the next question and we hope you’ll be bold enough to share your truth…even if you’d never say it out loud.

Until then, keep your cups hot and your secrets safe.

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